back stateside. have been for a week and a day now, to be exact. people keep asking me "do you hate your life, do you wanna go back to europe mer mer mer" and it makes me feel really weird. ever since i watched granada slip away through a backdrop of a spanish sunset from the bus window on the way to madrid....some freakish transition happened. all of a sudden the last year of my life turned into a memory. but only for a second - no joke. it was a memory and me and stace were sittin on the bus staring out the windows and we both realized it happened. we both were like - its over. but as quick as that realization came, it turned into something that felt like a dream. we were like ummm did it even happen? honestly, i could go on - but its just gonna be rambling about something that doesnt even make sense in my own head - and thats not fair of me to put ANYONE through that. not that anyone reads this. someday, when i'm a writer, or one of those people who wear two different color socks and scream outside of grocery stores about something crazy (that's an either/or there, have to pick one) i'm gonna read through my old blogs and wonder what psychotic-ness was going through my head..but for right now, my ramblings are seemingly point-ful (as opposed to pointless) and if typing makes it easier to see, then i'm gonna do it. even if nobody ever knows what i'm ranting about. i just looked through my yearbook from senior year - god knows why....and it was weird. that was four years ago. since when are we grandmas? i'm so confused.
